![]() ![]() "I swear to God - I heard a doctor discussing it last night. "I hear Priest Holmes has a hitch in his hip," one manager in our league told another last year just after the draft. You must spin without seeming like you're spinng. The trick is to seem calm and measured while asserting unsubstantiated opinion. All points must be couched in faux-objective terms. This includes offering vapor analysis of team structure, misleading player projections, and, in almost every instance, outright false information on a given player's backups. Find weaknesses in other teams, and you'll feel stronger.Īny guy worth his salt knows how to methodically scan another manager's lineup for faults. Instill doubt in an opponent, and you feel emboldened. And in turn, your fellow managers' reactions to the draft reveal what men think of themselves.ġ Snufalufagus - solid, up-the-middle rapport with Big Bird.ģ Salacious Crumb - Jabba the Hut's pet.įantasy football is a zero sum game. Who you are and how you drafted says a lot about you. These questions - Muppet-based or otherwise - matter. Thomas Paine once said, "I love men who can smile in trouble, who can gather strength from distress, and grow brave by reflection." So, were you Guy Smiley (who may or may not have been the same Muppet as "Don Music", but that's immaterial) confidently explaining multiplication tables, or Beaker after another Dr. So how did you do? Is your running back stable full? Are your receivers explosive? And who's your kicker? Your first evening with your new team says a lot about your self-confidence. But if things go poorly, you're out $150 and some idle chitchat. It can set the tone for a wonderful journey full of deep spiritual commitment. If fantasy football is a bit like having a relationship, then your draft is the first date. From pre-draft hijinx to post-draft trash talk, from tumultuous trades to the perils of free agency, it celebrates the eccentric personalities, absurd rituals, and hilarious superstitions of one of the most fanatical fantasy leagues on earth. In "Why Fantasy Football Matters (And Our Lives Do Not)," two grizzled veterans revel in the addiction that is fantasy football. ![]() Reprinted by permission of Simon Spotlight Entertainment, an imprint of Simon & Schuster, Inc., NY. (dont forget the B!) Crumb! Who have we missed? Let us know in the comments section below.You have reached a degraded version of because you're using an unsupported version of Internet Explorer.įor a complete experience, please upgrade or use a supported browserīook Excerpt: Why Fantasy Football Mattersįrom the book, "Why Fantasy Football Matters (And Our Lives Don't)." Text (c) 2006 by Erik Barmack and Max Handelman. For these points alone, I give you my most ridiculous character of the Star Wars universe, Salcious B. He also looks like a cross between a half spawned gremlin and a rat, mixed in with a Muppet that was probably a tramp character. Why ridiculous? To make a point I will say it twice, this guy has a middle inital for no reason other than to have a second initial. That is until the fateful day when a Jedi came to destroy his fun on Jabba's barge. So with a shrill laugh and an off-kilter sense of humour, Salacious kept his job with Jabba. Jabba would force Salacious to make him laugh, day in day out, otherwise Jabba would, of course, eat the poor fellow. Crumb is a Kowakian monkey- lizard who is employed by Jabba as a court jester of sorts. Crumb Well this character is so ridiculous he even has a middle name! With ROTJ being my favorite Star Wars film, I always enjoyed on repeat viewing seeing this little guy, sitting at Jabba's bulbous stomach, laughing away, and wondered what he was there for. ![]()
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